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The Importance of Consistency in Sleep Training

When it comes to sleep training, one word stands above all others: consistency. Whether you choose to work with a sleep coach or follow your own plan, sticking to a consistent routine is key to helping your baby learn healthy sleep habits. And trust me, I learned this the hard way!


baby sleep and consistency
Baby sleeping independently is the foundation for healthy sleep


My Lightbulb Moment 💡

I still remember this moment during my certification training to become a sleep coach—mind-blowing stuff! The instructor explained that when you let your baby cry and then end up doing the thing they want (like rocking or nursing), you're actually reinforcing the behavior you're trying to avoid. This was exactly what I had been doing with my daughter.


One night, I decided that I wasn't going to stay on the floor next to her toddler bed anymore. But after an hour of her whining, tossing, turning, crying, and screaming, I would give up and do what she wanted. Guess what happened? She learned that all she needed to do was cry and scream louder for longer, and eventually, I’d cave in.


Here’s the kicker—she wasn’t manipulating me. She was just responding to the pattern I was teaching her.

By giving in after she cried, I was unintentionally telling her that crying is how to get what she wanted. This was my "aha" moment: consistency is key. If you're not consistent, they don’t learn anything new—they just keep doing what has worked in the past.


Why Babies Thrive on Consistency

Babies crave predictability. Knowing what to expect helps them feel safe and secure, especially when it comes to sleep. If their routine and your responses are all over the place, they may become confused, anxious, or unsettled. But if you’re consistent with things like the bedtime routine, nap schedule, and how you respond to nighttime wakings, it gives them clear expectations and a sense of security.

Let’s break it down:


  1. Predictability offers comfort: Babies feel safe when they know what will happen next.

  2. Habits are learned through repetition: If your baby only knows how to fall asleep by rocking or nursing, that’s what they’ll expect. A new routine needs consistent reinforcement for them to learn it.

  3. Your response shapes their behavior: If you're inconsistent, you're teaching them that the way to get what they want is to keep crying longer and louder.


What Consistency Looks Like

When you start a sleep training plan, you need to stay consistent in several areas:


  • Nap schedule: Stick to regular nap times, so their body adjusts to a natural rhythm.

  • Bedtime routine: Follow the same calming bedtime routine every night—think bath, story, cuddle, sleep.

  • Night wakings: Respond in the same way each time they wake up during the night. Whether you use a gentle soothing approach or a more structured method, keep it the same.

  • Bedtime and wake times: Try to stick to consistent sleep and wake-up times daily to regulate your baby’s internal clock.


Consistency Is Not About Letting Your Baby Cry

Here’s what consistency doesn't mean: it’s not about leaving your baby to cry until they get tired. It's about finding a routine and response that you feel comfortable with—and then sticking to it. The goal is to create a sleep environment where both you and your baby can thrive.


If you’re just starting and feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry—you don’t have to do it alone. There are plenty of resources and support available to help guide you along the way, and I’d love to help you find the right path that works for your family!


If you want to get a free guide to build healthy sleep: click here!

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