What I Learned from Hunt, Gather, Parent — And Why You’ll Want to Read It Too

I just finished Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, and I have to say—I’m so glad I read it! And also… I was kind of eager to finish it 😅

Let me explain.

As much as I enjoy reading, romance novels will always have my heart 💕 But I try to switch things up now and then, and parenting books—while super valuable—can sometimes feel a bit like work. I can't help but read them through the lens of my job as a sleep coach and as a mom. I'm always thinking: How can I apply this to sleep? To my work? To my own parenting?

But this book felt different. From the very beginning, I felt motivated to try the suggestions. I found myself throwing in little phrases here and there with my own 8-year-old—and to my surprise, they worked! Of course, consistency matters, but it’s rare for a book to spark action and deliver results right away. That’s why I had to share my biggest takeaways with you.

Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

What is the book about?

Michaeleen Doucleff is a journalist who traveled around the world to observe how parents in different cultures raise happy, confident, and cooperative children. She noticed that in many places—like rural Mexico, Tanzania, and the Arctic—children tend to be more autonomous, helpful, and emotionally regulated than kids raised in the Western parenting model.

So she asked the big question: What are these parents doing differently?

And her insights are not only fascinating—they’re actually practical.

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My Top Takeaways from Hunt, Gather, Parent

1. Teach kids how to be acomedidos

Okay, this one doesn’t translate perfectly into English, but in Spanish, acomedido means someone who notices what others need and jumps in to help—without being asked.

In the Mayan culture, children are taught from an early age to contribute because they want to, not because they’re constantly being told what to do.

💡 Try this: Instead of saying “Set the table,” say “The plates aren’t on the table yet.”You’re still giving them direction, but in a way that helps them notice what needs to be done.

I've started using this with both of my kids. In the mornings while I’m making breakfast, I’ll say something like, “Sergio needs milk,” and my 8-year-old goes and pours it for him. It works like magic—seriously!

2. Let them practice helping

This one hit me hard. I realized how often I say no when my kids want to help, just because I can do it faster, neater, or without a mess. But if I’m always doing everything myself while they watch TV, how are they ever going to learn?

So now? I let my 8-year-old make scrambled eggs (yes, I was afraid of burns before!). I let my 4-year-old help with the dishes—even if it means water everywhere. We don’t turn on screens until we’re all done with our chores. And the best part? They feel proud. They want to be involved.

3. Rethink how we change behavior

If you have a strong-willed toddler like I do, you’ve probably shouted “No!” more times than you can count 😅 But here are two things that work better:

• Explain what will happen Instead of just saying “No,” Explain the consequence:

  “You’re going to fall and hurt yourself.”

  “You might get run over if you cross the street without looking.”

  When I started doing this, my 4-year-old stopped and thought it through.

  
  

• Redirect with a task. My favorite one! When he’s getting wild, I say something like:

  “Take this to my room.”

  “Can you help me chop this?”

  “Put this plate away.”

  It shifts his energy and gives him a sense of purpose.

  
  

4. Raise a confident child

Nobody likes being bossed around—not toddlers, not adults. One of the biggest takeaways for me was how important it is to give kids a sense of autonomy and show them that we trust them.

Some ways to do that:

• Encourage free play. Avoid jumping in to tell them how to play.

• Let them climb, jump, and explore—with supervision, of course. I realized my 4-year-old actually assesses risks really well. He climbs high, but not too high. And when something looks unsafe, he stops. I would’ve missed that if I was just yelling “Be careful!” all the time.

• Model behaviors instead of scripting them.Instead of saying “Say thank you,” I started showing gratitude myself, and following up later to talk about it. Kids learn more by example than by commands.

Hunt, Gather, Parent felt like a breath of fresh air. It reminded me that kids aren’t just here to follow rules—they want to be helpful, they want to learn, and they want to feel like an important part of the family.

I’m already applying so many of these ideas in my own home and in my work with families around sleep and routines. If you’re a parent who wants to raise more cooperative, independent, and confident kids (without the constant power struggles), I highly recommend giving this book a read.

Just maybe read it between your favorite romance novels 😉

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Let me know if you’ve read this book—or if you plan to! I’d love to hear what resonated most with you. 💬