Why Night Wakings Are the Hardest Part of Motherhood (and How to Handle Them!)

Let’s be honest—night wakings are brutal! I know, I know… they’re part of motherhood, but that doesn’t make them any easier. In those early newborn days, sleep deprivation hits hard, and your tiny baby wakes up crying, unable to tell you what they need. Then, just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your toddler starts coming to your bed in the middle of the night asking for a hug, and suddenly, it’s a whole new challenge!

Why Do Babies Wake Up at Night?

Babies wake up for a variety of reasons, and understanding why can help you respond effectively. Here are some common reasons:

Baby is hungry – Newborns, especially, wake up frequently to eat since their tiny tummies can’t hold much milk at once.
Baby needs a diaper change – A wet or dirty diaper can be uncomfortable and disrupt their sleep.
Baby is too hot or too cold – Temperature fluctuations can wake babies up, so checking their clothing and room temp is key.
Baby doesn’t know how to fall back asleep on their own – This is a big one! If your baby relies on rocking, nursing, or another sleep association, they’ll likely need it again when they wake in the middle of the night.

How Should You Respond to Night Wakings?

For the first three reasons—hunger, diaper change, or temperature discomfort—the solutions are pretty simple:

If your baby is hungry, feed them.
If their diaper is dirty, change it.
If they’re too hot or cold, adjust their layers or room temperature.

But what if none of these are the issue? That’s when your baby might just need help learning how to fall back asleep independently.

Why Do Babies Need Help Falling Asleep?

Babies aren’t born knowing how to fall asleep on their own. Some naturally figure it out, while others—especially sensitive babies who cry more—need guidance. The truth is, babies learn how to sleep based on what we teach them.

For example:

If you rock your baby to sleep every night, they learn that rocking equals sleep.
If you nurse your baby to sleep, they associate sleep with nursing.
If you hold their hand or bounce them, they learn that’s their way to drift off.

And listen, I don’t want you to feel guilty! You didn’t consciously decide to create these sleep habits—it just worked in the moment. In those first few months, we do whatever helps us survive. These “sleep crutches” are lifesavers… until they’re not.

At some point—whether at 6 months, 12 months, or even 3 years old—you might start feeling like these habits are no longer serving you or your baby. That’s when it’s time to make a change.

When Is the Right Time to Teach Independent Sleep?

The right time is when you and your baby are ready. You’re not abandoning your baby in the middle of the night—you’re actually helping them by teaching them how to fall asleep on their own. This way, when they wake up at night, they can settle themselves back to sleep quickly and easily, without waking you (or the whole house!).

How Does This Learning Process Work?

Learning how to fall asleep independently at night starts with bedtime. We call this process “sleep training,” but really, it’s just about giving your baby enough practice falling asleep on their own.

Will There Be Crying?

Unfortunately, yes. Change is hard, and crying is how babies protest. They’re not mad at you—they’re just adjusting to something new! But with the right approach, patience, and consistency, your baby will learn.

If you’re ready to tackle those middle-of-the-night wakings and finally get the rest you deserve, let’s chat! I’d love to help you create a plan that works for your family. Sleep is possible—let’s make it happen! Schedule a call here.