top of page

Separation Anxiety and Sleep




So, let's talk about separation anxiety—it's like the official term for the little freak-out that happens when your baby or toddler realizes you're not right there with them. For babies, it's that moment when they suddenly get that you exist even when you're not in their line of sight (cue a bit of FOMO, right? Haha). It's what experts call "object permanence."


This whole separation anxiety thing is totally normal. It kicks in around 6 to 8 months and peaks when they're around 2 years old. How do you know it's happening? Oh, trust me, you'll know! Your little one becomes super clingy and cries more when they're not glued to your hip. And forget about it if a stranger tries to step in—they'll make it clear that they're not having it!


But hey, take it as a good sign! It means you're building a rock-solid bond with your kiddo, and they're growing up just fine.

Every kid reacts differently, though, so don't sweat it if yours is a bit more attached than others.


Now, fast forward to toddlerhood, and guess what? Yup, separation anxiety can still rear its head! Especially when there's something big on the horizon, like starting a new preschool or expecting a new sibling. It's all part of the growing-up gig.

Now, let's dive into how this whole separation anxiety thing messes with sleep, because oh boy, it can really throw a wrench into your nights.


Bedtime Battles: Your once peaceful sleeper might suddenly protest every time you try to tuck them into bed or start the bedtime routine. It's like they have a sixth sense about what's coming next!


Nighttime Wake-Ups: We all wake up during the night, right? But when separation anxiety hits its peak, your little one might prefer your comforting arms over trying to doze off on their own.


Naptime Struggles: Naptime can turn into a battleground too. Your kiddo might put up a fight every time you mention the crib or refuse to close their eyes for a nap.


So, how do we deal with this rollercoaster of emotions?

  • First off, reassure your baby that you're always coming back. Practice short separations during the day, like stepping out of the room for a few seconds while they play in a safe spot.


  • Stick to a bedtime routine like glue, but throw in some extra cuddles, use your soothing voice, and make eye contact to let them know you're right there.


  • When they wake up at night, be consistent in your response. No need to let them cry it out, but a gentle touch or your reassuring voice can work wonders.

  • Don't forget to carve out some one-on-one time with your kiddo. Bonding moments are like gold for both of you.

  • And please, no sneaking away! Always say goodbye or let them know when you'll be back. It's all about building trust and security.

  • Lastly, stay calm. I know it's tough when they're upset, but your calm demeanor sends a powerful message that everything's okay.

  • Oh, and books are your secret weapon! There are some fantastic ones like "The Kissing Hand" and "The Invisible String" that can help your little one understand separation in a comforting way.

Remember, separation anxiety is just a phase—it'll come and go. By understanding it and using these strategies, you're setting the stage for healthy sleep habits and a strong emotional bond with your child.

0 comments
bottom of page